fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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