for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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