oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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