Can i not drive my cunt home
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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