I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
