the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I need a burrito and a hug.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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