Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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