there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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