so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize