Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
