I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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