he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
