Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
two words...techno handjob
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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