btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
