When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
