who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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