Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
