My room smells like vodka and shame
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You have to summon your inner elephant
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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