I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got chris browned last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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