And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
