I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
