it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We had to coat check the pizza.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
