no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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