you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
