How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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