How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
