Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
