We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
