Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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