Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
