She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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