I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
