sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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