Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
