Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
