Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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