i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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