We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
