Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
