can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
