I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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