She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
