thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize