wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
