I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
More tranny stories later!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
