He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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