i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
