I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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