So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
