im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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