So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
