ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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