he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
