Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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