i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
