i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
