I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, beer. Big fan.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
