that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there's paper in my vomit.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
