Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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