I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
