i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize