Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
