Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize