Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
