Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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