hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
