I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
love makes seman taste better
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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