Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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(330): View more from Ohio

you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(805): View more from California

my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(917): View more from New York City

He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.

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(607): View more from New York

A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.

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