youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We left the knife in your bed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
