Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ladies don't puke and tell
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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