I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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