i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
