We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
