Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
