Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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