I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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